Army Men - Soldiers of Misfortune (Nintendo DS) - Review by Andrew

Introduction

If you've been Nintendo handheld gaming for some time you'll no doubt recall that it was an Army Men title which graced the Gameboy Advance launch line-up all those years ago. This was no big surprise, of course, the series has made a showing on just about every platform available with almost as many publishers. For such a simple concept though, the franchise has suffered from varying levels of quality and, given that this type of plot is just about as game friendly as you could wish for, multiple developers have managed to completely miss the mark. This time around it's Big Blue Entertainment's turn, but have they done their homework?

Gameplay

Soldiers of Misfortune places you in the role of Timmy: a small boy who has miniaturized himself in order to sort out a war that has broken out amongst his plastic Army Men. Armed only with a single dart-gun, Timmy heads into battle across three areas of his house from the playroom to the kitchen and eventually outside in the garden. Each of these locations has five separate missions although there's very little variation initially at least. They generally involve simply wiping out the enemy although more interesting challenges will have you planting explosives. You'll also get the opportunity to drive around in a tank, although this is limited in its appeal, and the first time you get behind the controls you'll do so to stop a hosepipe from flooding the play area. Once outside you'll even have the opportunity to pilot a plane; the first of these missions is a bombing run and the other challenges you to 'shoot down as many planes as possible in 6 minutes'. At least that's what you think you'll have to do. In fact, it's actually more of a protection exercise and involves two sets of three armored vehicles that must be kept from harm for 6 minutes. You don't even have to shoot the enemy planes down, as simply flying into them will destroy them instantly with little damage to yours.

If this isn't disappointing enough, you'll fly though all fifteen levels but with no Multiplayer you are unlikely to visit Timmy's world ever again. Indeed you will probably question whether it was worth visiting him in the first place.

Controls

All of Timmy's movements are controlled with the d-pad and while this should be straightforward it never really is, even just getting around the levels is much more difficult than it need be. It addition it's also difficult to strafe making you an easy target for other soldiers and let's not even mention the camera views which are awkward and unhelpful.

Graphics

While the three different areas are of a reasonably impressive size they do have their drawbacks, the most notable of which is the quality. Timmy, along with everything else, has rough edges whilst the textures are bland and uninspiring.

Sound

Terrible music and sound effects, just footsteps, groaning and the odd bit of gunfire.

Dual screen

While the touch screen is used to actually shoot at enemies even this portion of the gameplay has its problems due to Timmy's enormous head and the fact that it constantly gets in the way of the enemy soldiers. What's worse is that it's almost impossible to re-position yourself making for many unnecessary deaths.

Final comments

While the initial batch of screens promised so much the gameplay is so simple and repetitive it's difficult to recommend this game on any level. The main problem is the complete lack of care given to just about every aspect of the title. Not only does it look and sound unfinished but the gameplay is severely limited too. Even if you happen to stumble across it in a bargain bin, we'd still advise extreme caution.

Pro: The Aircraft Bombing Mission is Fun.
Con: Very Short, Awful Sound and Music.
Final score: 3.9

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